***Editor Lynda Dietz and I have a Coffee Chat series running on her blog Easy Reader. I'll be posting them here on Mondays to share the madness with the rest of my friends. Why? Because I can, that's why (also summer
makes me lazy keeps me busy). Go ahead and judge us, it's okay ;)
Originally posted on February 13th, 2014. Find it *here*
Coffee Chat 7.0 with Editor Lynda Dietz: I Love You!
|Re-poured on Mondays o_0|
[S.K. bangs on E.R.'s door.]
SK: [Singing.] Wise men saaaaaayyyyyyyyy only fools rush innnnnnnnn—hic—hic—but I can't help falling in love with—oh, heeeyyyy!
[Takes a sip from a bottle as E.R. opens the door.]
ER: Um, S.K.? Are you all right out there? Wow, have you been here long? I heard an awful noise.
SK: [Continues to sing.] Shall I staayyyyyyy, would it be a sinnnnnnnnn?
ER: That was the noise.
SK: [Singing continues, uninterrupted.] If I can't help falling in loooovvvvve with youuuuuu... [Stares at coffeepot with glassy eyes.]
ER: What in the world...?
SK: I luurrve coffee...I—hic—thinks me needs some naaoowwww. But—hic—I probably need a nap first... [Falls facedown.]
[E.R. closes the door, gets a cup of coffee, and leaves S.K. on the floor.]
THREE HOURS LATER...
ER: Hey, S.K., you need to get up. You're late for Coffee Chat, man. I already drank the first pot by myself and ended up cleaning the whole first floor of my house just to work off the caffeine jitters. I can't believe you didn't wake up when I accidentally mopped you. Uh, sorry for that, by the way.
SK: Itskayyy...I needed a shower anyway. Man, my head hurts. Did you at least make me more coffee?
ER: Duh. Have some. [Pours into the special 24-ounce mug reserved for emergencies.]
SK: ...drinking the whole pot...wossamotta with you?
ER: It was looking at me. I couldn't just ignore it, so I had a cup. Then I had a second cup, and you still didn't wake up, and before I knew it, the last cup was empty and I had a mop in my hand and...I'd rather not talk about it.
So...dare I ask what has you so out of sorts?
SK: Oh, my boyfriend left me for another girl.
ER: [Coughs.] Um, you're married.
SK: My book boyfriend, I mean. Kevin, the main character from Static—he just broke my heart...and Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Sigh...
[E.R. is trying hard at this point to not roll eyes. Looks at S.K. and then quickly looks away.]
SK: Don't look at me like that! I realize I'm the one who wrote it, and that he isn't real. It still hurts, though. He's such a cutie. I figured I'll drink it off today so I can spend tomorrow in a happy mood. I don't think my honey—
ER: [Interrupts.] Your real live husband-person honey—
SK: Yeah—would appreciate me being sad over a fictional character—that I made up in my head—on Valentine's Day. What are your plans for tomorrow?
ER: Well, first, I'll wake up super-early so I can bake heart-shaped scones for my sweetheart. While they bake, I'll brew the coffee so that when it's all done, I can carry a tray of yummy stuff up to him while serenading him with a love song I wrote myself. It's called "I Love You More Than Chocolate Even When You and Chocolate Are Standing Beside Each Other in the Same Room." Oh, and I'll be sizzling up a special dozen of bacon roses so he knows how much I love him.
SK: You wrote a song for him? Gosh, I...I...hmmmm.
ER: Okay, so maybe that's not exactly the reality. The reality is more like the alarm will go off and I'll hit the snooze a couple times. By the time I get up, my sweetie will have gotten up, headed downstairs, gone outside to feed the animals, and come back upstairs to bring coffee to me. I still might sing the chocolate song, though, 'cause I have a good feeling about that one.
SK: Oh, good! I don't feel too bad now. I'm making some chocolate-covered strawberries for dessert. And by "making," I mean I'll call hubby to pick some up for
We'll have dinner with the kids as usual, pig out on our fruits, and then
complain about how tired we both are. Luckily, neither one of us is into
celebrating or going all out for these holiday things. We just like to chill;
no material gifts needed in this household. Nope. Sleep is what's most
appreciated. Just sleep. Can you tell we're the parents of teeny little ones?
ER: I have to admit, we don't do the "Hallmark Holidays" either. I'm happy with a husband who treats me great 365 days a year (366 on leap years), so a card isn't going to make or break the marriage. Chocolate doesn't hurt, but he knows me well enough to keep a secret stash for emergencies. I got a Valentine card from him once, and I told him he never had to get me another, because it was so spectacular, he'd never top it. He still gets me cards on occasion, but we never feel forced because the calendar tells us we have to.
SK: Oooh, emergency chocolate stash...yes, that's all that stayed with me. Your guy is sweet, my guy is sweet...but chocolate! We're almost the same here, too. But on leap years, that's the one day I give the guy a break and I'm the super sweet one. We take turns; it's only fair.
ER: We met on April Fool's Day, if you can believe that, so by our very first Valentine's Day, we'd been dating almost ten months. Because I hadn't really said anything, I guess he panicked and thought he'd better hurry on out to the store and get a card...maybe he thought my silence was a test or something. The only place still open was the apothecary down the street, and apparently, there was only one card left. When the time was right, he looked deep into my eyes, handed me the card, and I opened...this.
It was the best Valentine's Day card a gal could possibly ask for.
Sigh...that's all the time we have for coffee today. S.K. is headed home to her real, live husband and will hopefully have a great day.
You can find Lynda Dietz in a number of places. She's on Twitter @LyndaDietz4, her website is http://ilovetoreadyourbooks.blogspot.com, her Facebook page is Easy Reader Editing, and on occasional occasions, she'll be right here with me, drinking coffee and laughing it up over our latest plans and schemes. And possibly even talking about books and writing. *Reworded to include Lynda's info instead of my own.*