I don't like basking in negativity. But sometimes you feel down and disappointed, you know? And what is the use of a blog if I can't use it as an outlet from time to time? Besides, maybe some of you will relate. And if you don't, lie to me so I don't post about you next time! :P
I should start by saying that me, SK—the writer, is a complete secret to about 98% of people who know me in real life. Not that you guys aren't real, but there's a higher chance of at least one of you being a robot. Anyway, so the people who I've shared it with, obviously it's because they're important to me. The people in *this* life who I've shared the real me with, obviously are also important to me.
Over the past years that I've been doing the SK thing . . . rocking it, I might add. I've been extremely supportive to all these important people. In whatever aspect of their lives. I'm there if they happen to need encouragement, an ear, even as a cheerleader. I'm not saying this because I want a pat on the back. I'm not saying this because I expect much in return. I do what I do because I genuinely care.
The thing is, at some point, you notice how you're the only one who cares. Maybe my writing is seen as just a hobby. Maybe it's my personality. Maybe it's because I don't voice my issues often enough. My concerns. My excitement. I'll mention things in passing, and I'll get talked right over. Yes, from people on both sides of my life. I like privacy and I'm an introvert so for the most part, this suits me just fine. But when I take time to tell you exactly what makes me sad or what makes me happy or say, "Gosh, I wrote a post I really liked." . . . Don't dismiss me. You know what I would do? I'd go check out your blog. I'd let you be sad, cheer you up, or be sad with you if that's what you needed. I'd happy right along and celebrate whatever needs celebrating.
I recently figured out that this is part of the reason I distanced myself from blogging. Also why I had a tough time getting Static to the finish line. If the people who are supposed to care about me—especially my closest ones who are even in this writing world just like you and me—don't care about what I have to write, why would others?
But most importantly, I realized it wasn't me. It wasn't about me being selfish or wanting attention. It's a matter of respect. I share this important part of ME—the writer—with them, the least they can do is say "Yay, go you!" once a year. Once a year kills no one. Does it? Someone look it up for me.
Not having the support, we as writers need, hurts. So what took me so long to let it out? I wasn't ready to tell them this before—not that they'll read it. But, guys: You're dismissed. I no longer expect anything from you, and I shouldn't have in the first place. I'll still be there for you, because it's still who I am, but . . . Carry on.
I do have to say, moments like these help define us. It toughens us up. You think a low review feels bad? Nah, the people you care about dismissing you feels bad. I say dismissing them right back is step one, step two is don't leave this community of writers . . . they understand and care ;)
What about you?
Has anyone in your life dismissed you or your writing?
This post is part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group hop.
Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds! Posting is first Wednesday of every month. Click here for more info.